Let’s rewind back a number of years to the first week of my paramedic internship. I thought I had it all figured out. 400 maybe 500 hours and I was going to be off to take my registry test and get my license. The first call of the day is a motorcycle down. My preceptor informs me that I am running the call alone. Its sink or swim time. “No problem, I got this” I say through the window tha seperates the cab from the patient compartment.

We get on scene to find an intoxicated biker standing in the roadway talking to law enforcement. They don’t want him to go by ambulance as they are arresting him for dui. The officer asks me to evaluate him and make sure he is ok to go by squad car. I walk up to the man and ask “what’s going on?”

“I got bit by a shark” he replies.

Sean – “very funny, are you hurt?”
Patient – “you tell me”
Sean – “are you having any pain?”
Patient – “am I getting billed for this?”
Sean – “only if you are transported”
Patient – “then I’m not going”
Sean – “do you know where you are?”
Patient – (he tells me the cross streets)
Sean – “what is the date today?”
Patient – (tells me a date that is off by a couple days)
Sean – “what does that man look like over there?”
Patient – “a cop”
Sean – “what do I look like?”
Patient – “a dumbass”
My preceptor – “well sounds like he’s alert and oriented to me!”