The anniversary of Michael Jackson’s death left me asking myself a bunch of “what ifs”. What if the king of pop never pursued a music career, but instead took up a job in pre-hospital emergency care? For all we know, he might still be alive today. So of course this left another question roaming around inside my head….
What kind of Paramedic would Michael Jackson be?
Shifts
As we have found out from Michael’s recent tragedy, he really enjoys his sleep. This leads me to believe that he would work day shifts. I’m guessing that he would be well rested for every day he shows up to work.
Response
Michael Jackson wouldn’t necessarily be dispatched to calls. Instead, he would invite his patients to stay with him at Neverland Ranch and care for them there. Besides, we know he has a physician on staff.
Scene Safety
Law Enforcement would not be necessary to ensure Michael Jackson’s safety on scene of a call as he has several defense mechanisms in place. His first line of defense is the ability to change colors and blend in with his surroundings. If that fails, then he would perform dance routines such as the crotch thrust to scare off his attackers. If all else fails, then he could just turn into a panther or moon-walk away.
Pediatrics
If you have worked as a paramedic then you know that running sick kids can be stressful. This is not the case for Michael Jackson as he specializes in pediatrics. Please refer back to “response” on how these patients are cared for.
Equipment
Now what paramedic would be complete without his equipment? Below is a list of the essential tools for Mr. Jackson’s service.
- White gloves – To be worn on one hand for BSI purposes.
- Lot’s of heavy sedatives.
- Fake Nose – Can be removed and used as a handheld blood alcohol detector or a pediatric BVM.
- Shiny Jacket – Used as a safety feature when working on the highway or to signal helicopters.
As always if you have anything to add, comment below! Have a great week and stay tuned for the next “Celebrity Medic”.
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