If “The Terminator” was a Paramedic

I overheard a conversation at work where a paramedic was referred to as a “robot”. This of course sparked the idea for this weeks “Celebrity Medic”. It’s obvious that the best robot for the job would be “The Terminator”. This column will be tough as the type of care provided can greatly vary depending on who programmed him. So now the big question…..

What kind of Paramedic would The Terminator be?

Shifts

Being that The Terminator is a robot, he won’t require any sleep. This would allow him to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. It should also be known that he would dedicate 100% of his time to his mission.

Scene Safety

Staging for law enforcement is normally to ensure the safety of the responding EMS providers. Depending on his mission, special agents or other terminators may be dispatched to protect the patient from The Terminator. This can be very confusing…..and very deadly.

Dispatch

The Terminator would most likely have a CAD system chip placed in his head to automatically detect 911 calls in his area. Since he is sent from the future, he could actually be sent at any point in time to care for someone who was ill, injured or died.

Protocols

We all know that The Terminator would never break protocol. That is unless told to do so by the patient he is programmed to care for.

Hospital Staff

There is only one thing that could stand in the way of The Terminator’s patient care. The T-1000 Triage Nurse. This could call for some fierce battles in the ER as the T-1000 Triage Nurse is designed to make the Terminator “hold a wall” for as long as possible, and divert to less busy hospitals.

Equipment

The Terminator doesn’t particularly carry a lot of equipment, but there are some essential tools for his daily operation.

  • Shotgun – Come on….he can’t be “The Terminator” without his shotgun!
  • Bio Scan Vision – Software built into his eyes that scans vitals, vein locations, ECG tracings, Sp02, C02, and pretty much anything you can imagine.
  • Automatic Data Transmission – Software tied into his “Bio Scan” that automatically sends his findings to the receiving ER.

As always, any comments or suggestions are encouraged and greatly appreciated!

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