If Barack Obama was a Paramedic

In light of the recent passing of “healthcare reform”, I felt that this weeks Celebrity Medic should feature our Commander in Chief. Today we will discuss what happens when you take his ideas for improving healthcare and applying it directly to the EMS setting. So of course, we will be answering the big question….

What kind of paramedic would Barack Obama be?

Shifts

Barack Obama would most likely be on a part-time schedule as he is far to busy traveling outside of the country to be tied town to a regular shift.

Scene Safety

We all know the president has the luxury of the Secret Service. When Barack Obama is dispatched to a call, it would be hours before he could safely arrive on scene as the area would have to be secured by snipers, road blocks, check points, etc.

Response

Barack Obama would only respond to calls that he has been prepped to handle. The patients would be carefully selected prior to dispatch to ensure that they didn’t present with an illness or injury that he wasn’t prepared to care for.

Vehicle

Air Force One would most likely be retrofitted to act as a mobile hospital. This might sound expensive and you might wonder how he would fit in into his operating budget. This would simply be achieved by placing a “you call we haul” tax on all ambulance rides around the nation.

Radio Reports

The radio is old and out of date. Barack Obama would hand off his patient care information in the form of town hall meetings and addressing the public via TV and Twitter.

Partner

Obviously Joe Biden would be Barry’s right hand man. Only he would be “that partner” that says dumb things on scene and gets you into trouble with your supervisor. This wouldn’t matter as they really don’t have to answer to anyone. My guess is Joe would be an EMT-Basic.

Billing

Patients treated and transported by Barack Obama wouldn’t have to worry about payment as only those who don’t use or want his service would be billed.

Equipment

Barack Obama wouldn’t carry much equipment as his practice is based on hope rather than experience, training and expertise.

  • Microphone – For addressing his patients and for use during his radio reports.
  • Teleprompter – Used to scroll pertinent questions for his patient assessments.
  • “The Briefcase” – Instead of being using to launch nuclear weapons, it will now be used to summon the real medical professionals behind his operation in the event of a real medical emergency.

Comments are welcomed and encouraged! Have a great week.

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