May 18, 2012

Happy Hair-Metal Christmas from the EMS Bloggers

Wishing you all a Rockin’ Christmas!

Featuring Sean Eddy on lead vocals, Justin Schorr on Lead Guitar, Greg Friese on Bass Guitar, Mark Glencorse on Rhythm Guitar and Kelly Grayson on Drums.

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

If Steve Jobs was a Paramedic

It’s rare that you can walk down the street or stop by your local coffee shop and not see someone texting away on their iPhone or blogging on their macbook. The once “underdog” of the tech world has become the new driving force in not only the mobile phone world, but the computing world as well. But what goes up must go down. What’s going to happen to Mr. Jobs when the next person takes the thrown as the King of the tech world? Many would speculate that he could enjoy a comfortable retirement with all of the money that he has made. But I suggest that he take up a career in pre-hospital emergency medical care.

So if this were to happen, then we would have to ask ourselves the billion dollar question: What kind of paramedic would Steve Jobs be?

Shifts

Just like his mobile devices, there isn’t any real way to remove Steve’s power source. He would have no choice but to continually work around the clock regardless of whether or not his patients have requested his service.

Response

Obviously the modern tech-guru wouldn’t utilize an old system like a quick call or 2-way radio. Instead, he would be notified via a web submission form that is then forwarded to an e-mail address that generates a SMS message on his phone that is transmitted to his glasses / micro display monitor via Bluetooth.

Vehicle

Steve would most likely respond in his newly released product, the iRescue. Unlike traditional ambulances that come in all shapes and sizes, each iRescue is exactly the same and only uses engine parts manufactured by Apple’s new emergency vehicle department. The ambulance features a touch screen steering wheel, a single round button to operate the siren and is electric powered. Unfortunately the vehicle is not very durable, extremely expensive and does not come with a factory warranty.

Continuing Education

People working for Job’s ambulance service would receive protocol updates via iTunes. These updates would take hours to complete and therefore would easily satisfy the typical required 48 hours of CE’s for license renewal.

Radio Reports

As mentioned earlier, Mr. Job’s wouldn’t be utilizing ancient technology to hand off patient information. Instead he would utilize expedient data transfer methods like e-mail and text messages. The ability to include pictures in transmitted reports unfortunately won’t be available until later releases of his iPCR software.

Protocols

Patient care guidelines for Mr. Job’s service are very strict and not available for public viewing. Also, patients requesting care from his service must already be users of at least 2 of his products.

Equipment

Now what kind of tech guy doesn’t come with his own set of gadgets? Steve is no exception. Here is a list of some tools that would be used in Mr. Job’s ambulance service:

  • iShock – ECG Monitor / Defibrillator that features a high-def screen and is controlled by a single wheel-like touchpad.
  • iSuck – Portable battery-powered suction device. The power is controlled by a touch-screen control panel.
  • iBreathe - Portable ventilator that is controlled remotely via an iPhone / iPad app.
  • iPump – Automated chest compression device that links with the iBreath via Bluetooth for complete synchronization.

Have an idea for next weeks “Celebrity Medic”? E-Mail me at sean@medicmadness.com


Same old story, same old song and dance

St. Petersburg, Florida is reported to be considering taking over ambulance transport from the private sector. I really hate to be stereotypical here, but it’s once again the same story.

Bringing in more money.

It’s not about patient care, or a deficiency on the part of the current provider. It’s about saving the city money. Of course, just like healthcare reform, they want to use the old tactic of spending money to save money.

I get that it’s a tough argument when the current provider is a for-profit entity. But I find it hard to side with the government agency that is just trying to expand their budget at the expense of private enterprise. You can’t tell me that you plan to create jobs and put someone out of business in the same breath.

I have seen this time after time and end result is never saving money. There just isn’t any money in emergency transport. Private ambulance usually survives on transfers and standbys. But hey, I guess if you cranked up the tax rate to provide the same service that the people are already receiving, you could pull in a couple bucks.

The article claims that Sunstar receives $218.40 per transport after paying the county. Of course, this is assuming that they actually get paid for every transport. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if the county takes their cut whether or not the patient pays. The article also doesn’t mention that Medicare and Medicaid don’t pay crap.

It always amazes me when cities decide that expanding their services will save money. I wonder how many paramedics currently provide care on the engines? Ever thought about leaving that job to the transport medics? There’s a money saver.

Here is a link to the article on EMS1: http://www.ems1.com/fire-ems/articles/914642-Fire-EMS-policy-could-save-money-for-Fla-city/


My love-hate relationship with politics

Definition -

Politics : Poli [Many] + Tics [Blood sucking parasites]

It’s rare that a day goes by when I don’t get involved in some sort of political discussion. You probably wouldn’t believe it by listening to me or reading my blog, but I really do hate politics. You will understand in a minute.

Before I started working in EMS, I worked for a political consulting firm. We basically ran campaigns for several candidates at the local, state and federal level. I mostly did computer work, as that was the best skill I had to offer the campaigns. I created websites, generated phone lists, managed databases, created banner graphics and did general IT work. I had always wanted to be involved in politics, and I was going to school to get a computer science degree so this should have been my dream job.

Not so much.

The job did have it’s perks. I got to know some pretty high-profile politicians. I worked on their campaigns, attended events with them and on occasion, accepted some under-the-table cash to fix their home computers. For a young man with little job and real-life experience, it seemed like a good gig at first.

The glamor of the job didn’t last very long. I quickly realized that politicians could care less about what their constituents want. When it was time to take a position on a topic, we never talked about what would benefit the public, or what the people wanted. It was always “whatever gets the votes”. I figured this out the first time a candidate decided his position on a subject based on the demographics of his district.

Getting dirt on opponents was fun at times and actually pretty easy. Looking up criminal and voting records was a given. Hell, the newspaper pretty much did all that work for us. Where we really got the dirt was by calling ex wives / girlfriends. What’s sad is that people actually paid attention to the BS that we ran on commercials. Half the time we stretched a story just far enough that the opposition had to spend time debunking our accusations. If you had them on the defense, you were winning. God forbid we were to ever just run on facts and tell the public what our plans were.

I really grew to hate the people I worked for. The politicians were fake and arrogant. Every single one of them. Come to think of it, I don’t believe I ever voted for a single candidate that I worked for. By that time, the job was just a paycheck until I could find something else. It was sickening. These people were supposed to stand for everything that I believed. The truth is, they stood for nothing.

Some of you might think it’s just the party that we represented. I know for a fact it’s on both sides. Partly because I was frequently used to “spy” on other campaigns. On a couple occasions, I was actually getting paid by one campaign to volunteer for the opponents campaign. I was perfect for that job because most of my work was done behind the scenes. It would be unlikely that anyone there would recognize me. While this would be considered to be dirty tactics, it was being done by both sides. Both candidates treated their workers like dirt and didn’t care about the public.

I was hardly paid enough to pay my bills (which were minimal). On countless occasions, I was called in on my days off or late at night to come in and fix a problem. Of course, they never compensated me for the extra hours. Instead I was told that my hard work was “for the good of the party”. I ended my career by walking off the job 5 days before an election. I left 3 candidates with no calling list, a locked database and no way to update their website. I literally reached my breaking point. After being told several times that we were all replaceable, I figured I would take them up on the offer.

As far as my love-hate relationship goes. I love discussing the issues, because they really do matter to me. What I hate is knowing that the people that we are electing are all in it for themselves.

2 weeks after I left, I enrolled in EMT school.


EMS and Healthcare Reform

I have spoken on this topic a few times before and it usually sparks a lot of heated debate, as it should. So many of us are just sitting here wondering what will happen to the healthcare industry and what it means for our jobs. For me, there are just too many unknowns. I know that our system is broken, but I’m not so sure we went about the right way of fixing it. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I think I have a pretty good idea of what works and what doesn’t. What bothers me is that people like you and me are continually left out of the decision making process. Instead we have people writing bills that have probably never seen a patient, tried to collect an insurance payment, or tried to run a private medical practice.

The talking heads continue to tell us that we need to cram trillions of federal dollars into the healthcare system in order to keep it afloat. But they never tell you why the system got to where it’s at in the first place. Medical care in the US is so expensive that most people simply can’t afford it without insurance. And many people can’t afford insurance. But have you ever sat down and looked at why it’s so damned expensive? Granted I’m no “expert” economist. I’m just a dumb-ass paramedic. But even I can see that the service I provide is expensive because nobody pays their bill.

Ambulance services can’t survive with half of their customers skipping out on the bill. We also can’t refuse service based on one’s ability to pay. I’m not saying I think we should, but it is a huge factor in the cost. Any other business in the world would call the cops if they saw someone return to their store who took something without paying. Not us. We just give them what they want and expect that they won’t pay. So how do we stay in business?

Someone has to pick up the tab for those that eat and run, and that usually falls on the insurance companies. And no, I don’t mean Medicare and Medicaid, I mean private insurance. Medicare and Medicaid walk into the restaurant and pay what they feel is fair market value and ignore the listed price on the menu. But wait, isn’t that illegal? Well, normally yes. But they’re the government and they’re here to help. The business is forced to raise their prices, which means that the people that do pay are not only paying their tab, but all the tabs of the people that didn’t pay. This nifty little technique is called “cost shifting”. It’s basically a narrowing scale that will eventually spike to the point that nobody is able to afford the cost. Think of it this way, every time the price goes up, less people will be able to afford it.

It’s arguable whether or not expanding Medicare and Medicaid benefits would help this issue. On one hand, ideally, more people would be covered by some kind of insurance which is better than nothing. But the big question is, are more people going to utilize medical services because they are now covered by government aid? If so, then it actually makes the problem worse (refer back to the restaurant analogy). Not to mention that doing so increases the national debt, which usually leads to increased taxes, which usually leads to people with less money, which then leads to less money being spent, which leads to layoffs and more people without insurance. It can make your head hurt thinking about it.

Forcing people to purchase health insurance could help solve this problem, or it could have the reverse affect. The theory behind this soon-t0-be mandate is that more people will be able to pay their medical bills, which would in return cut down on the cost of doing business. But let’s look at this from a different angle. If health insurance was affordable, most people would buy it. So do you think that some 27 year old guy working paycheck to paycheck at a dead-end job is going to be able to take a $500.00 a month hit? Probably not, so instead we hit him with a large penalty? That’s like telling me to buy an expensive sports car to avoid being charged $50,000. You would probably have to throw me in jail because you’re not getting either out of me.

So what’s the next option, forcing employers to provide health insurance? You could do that, but then the business owner would have to offset that loss somehow. And I think we both know that it would end up falling on payroll, which is usually the largest business expense. They would either have to cut wages to make up for the loss or lay off people. That doesn’t help much at all. Instead that just adds more people the uninsured pit.

This of course brings us to our next up-coming “solution”. Now we want to force health insurance companies to take all applicants regardless of their past medical history. I get the reasoning behind this, but are we really looking at the overall picture here? Health insurance companies make money by collecting your monthly premiums and hoping that you either never make a claim or do so as little as possible. They don’t want to take people with serious conditions because they know it’s a money loser from the start. It’s the same reason why auto-insurance companies don’t want drivers with bad records. It’s a losing deal. Do you think it would be fair to get in a car accident without insurance, then apply for coverage and expect them to cover your accident? What do you think a move like this is going to do your monthly premiums? Now the 27 year old guy REALLY can’t afford his coverage. I get that there is not as much of an emotional argument that goes with auto coverage, but it doesn’t change the fact that insurance companies have to stay in business in order to pay for your medical problems. Now before you come at me with torches and pitchforks, I still think that there needs to be a way for people with pre-existing conditions to get insurance. I think a good starting point would be to get more people on private insurance plans so that these companies can afford to lessen their standards. I’ll get to a broader explanation of fixing this problem later.

The next option, and in my option, the worst, is raising taxes to expand government coverage. Taking money from one person to pay for another doesn’t help the problem. Instead you take money from the people that are supposed to be supporting the economy. If you take $200.00 a month from me, you have just taken $200.00 that I would have normally spent elsewhere. This means that the movie theater, grocery store, auto shop, etc now get that much less of my money every month. Multiply by this by millions and you get a recession. Now let’s look at the opposite end of the spectrum. Lowering my taxes would not only let me keep my $200.00, but would give me more money to spend. This means that all those business now get more of my money. Multiply that by millions and you get increased demand and cash flow. This means that businesses have to hire more people in order to keep up with the demand for their product. This then translates to more jobs, which means more people with insurance benefits, paying taxes and being able to pay their medical bills. See where I’m going with this?

Now we may not be considered to be as “intelligent” as the decision makers, but even the simplest of minds can see that if a problem is caused by people not having enough money, we solve it by either getting more money to the people or making the service affordable. Now I know this doesn’t solve all our problems, but it’s a good start. We have already seen how putting money into the hands of the consumer can help, so let’s talk about how to get the cost of doing business down. Many hospitals and ambulance services operate on 40-60% of their patients actually paying their bills. So by using cost shifting, they are forced to increase their prices by that much in order to stay in business. Now imagine if everyone paid their bills. I know that’s unrealistic, but bear with me for a second. If everyone paid their bill, then the service operating with a 50% collection rate could essentially lower their prices by 50%. Sure, that’s a very simplified example, but you get the point. You might notice how I referred to the economy several times. This is because I firmly believe that fixing the economy is more than half the battle of fixing healthcare. It’s rather simple. Get more people back to working, then you will get more people being able to pay their bills.

There are of course plenty of other issues that need to be addressed like the ability to route patients to proper forms of treatment other than just the ER and the lawsuits that lead doctors to practicing defensive medicine. But for the purpose of this article, I’ll leave it here and touch on those subjects later. Like I said before, I don’t have all the answers. I could very well be dead wrong. And to be honest, I hope I am.


Everything I needed to know about EMS I learned in Cosmo Magazine

I was recently shown an article in Cosmopolitan Magazine that gives advice on what to do in “5 Very Scary Situations”. The scary situation that I found most amusing was “A Wasted Friend Passes Out on Your Floor”.

The title says a lot, but it’s just the tip of the iceberg. I don’t know about you, but I’m hardly ever scared when one of my friends passes out drunk. By that time, I’m usually relieved that I don’t have to listen to them anymore. But anyway, moving on.

Unfortunately I couldn’t find an on-line version of this article to link to, so instead I’ll provide you with some quotes:

“Whether she is slipping in and out of consciousness or barely moving at all, the biggest mistake is to let her sleep off her binge.”

Perhaps sound advice. Aspiration is nobody’s friend. Let’s just hope that you aren’t just as drunk.

“Since her life may be in jeopardy, your only option is to call 911 for an ambulance pronto. While you wait for the EMT’s to arrive, check her vital signs for two minutes. Use the first minute to see if she’s taking between 12 and 18 breaths, then check to see if her pulse measures between 80 to 100 beats during the second minute. Should either be off or if she’s gasping for air, she’s in the danger zone. Know CPR? Start administering it now.

2 minutes. Is that on bar time or regular time? I don’t know about you, but I think we would have to double our fleet if we responded every time someone passed out drunk. We would also be dealing with a lot of broken ribs from drunk people doing CPR on other drunk people.

Obviously someone being unconscious from a drinking binge is nothing to laugh about. While I’m glad that the author of this article is trying to do our alcoholic friends a service, let’s keep it simple. People that know how to do CPR, also know WHEN to do CPR. I don’t really want someone cracking my ribs because they counted 11 breaths and 58 beats per minute. Roll them on their side and get help.

Perhaps I’m out of line, or maybe it’s because I’m tired. But I just find some real humor in the thought that anyone would take medical advice from Cosmopolitan Magazine.


So There I Was

A recent post over at the “Notes From Mosquito Hill” blog reflected on a story of what happens when you violate rule #4 in my post about the “EMS Gods“. This of course compelled me to share my own story of what happens when you betray the almighty ones.

It was my first day as a paramedic. I had just received the long awaited call that informed me that the State of California had issued me a paramedic number and that my county card was available to be picked up at the office. I jumped up, put on some clothes and called into to work. This was actually supposed to be my day off, but I was excited to finally work a shift as a paramedic. I called our scheduler and had him put me in an overtime shift that started at 09:00. A quick stop by the county EMS office and I was official.

I arrived at work (45 minutes early), checked out my gear and waited for my partner to arrive. Even though I had been married to my protocol book for the last 570 hours of training, I still pulled it out and reviewed it one more time. For the first time, I was actually excited to hit the streets and use my newly acquired skills.

My partner showed up and we logged on over the radio. Just as I was running call scenarios through my mind, I was interrupted to hear that we were being assigned a long distance transfer that needed to be picked up within the hour.

“A long distance transfer? Are you F#$king kidding me? It’s my first day as a medic and they are going to assign me this horse sh*&?” I said this and many other phrases that I would soon regret. My tantrum was suddenly stopped with a message on our MDT that read “Are you really that upset about it?”. As it turns out, my knee was pressed up against our private channel mic for the whole company, including dispatch, to hear. “Well we just sealed our fate” muttered my partner, who I’m sure was just thrilled that he was assigned my car today.

Well the good news was, this transfer should have taken all day so I should have been safe from any real repercussions.

Not so much.

We arrived at the hospital to find out that we were taking a patient from the ICU that required a balloon pump, vent and 4 IV pumps. Not only did we not have the room for all that equipment, but there was no way in hell the nurse and RT that came with the patient was going to fit. After about 25 minutes of playing EMS Tetris, we managed to fit everyone and everything in it’s place.

About 2 minutes into our trip, the RT let out a sigh and said “this is a disaster, I should have stayed home”. I looked at him without saying a word and returned to my documentation.

I can see that me and him are going to get along JUST FINE……NOT

A couple minutes later, my favorite RT decided to voice his opinion once again. “Well let’s hope this poor bastard doesn’t code, because we can’t help him”.

“OK dude, if your are going to keep making comments, I’ll turn this rig around and drop you off at the hospital”, I replied.

Did I just say that? My mom would be proud….

After about 10 minutes of awkward silence, he decided to bring up the topic again. “Well think about it, we are packed in here like sardines, how do you plan on working this guy if he codes?”. I set down my paperwork and looked at him like my father would when I interrupted his morning reading of the almighty newspaper and said, “Well let’s see, you are going to bag through the ET tube that’s ALREADY IN PLACE, she’s going to take turns with me doing compressions, and we are going to pick one of the 6 ALREADY established IV lines to push drugs through. But since he’s stable for transport, I don’t think we need to worry”.

I was about 1 more comment away from either trading places with the patient or kicking the RT out the back door. This was of course until I had a bigger problem on my hands. About half way through the trip, my partner suddenly pulled over and vomited on himself. “Are you okay up there?” I yelled through the dividing window. “Yea, I just get car sick sometimes”.

Car sick? On a freeway? When your driving?

He assured me that he was well enough to finish driving, which I guess was a good thing as our nearest ambulance was now over an hour away. This was of course, better than than alternative that our RT gave us. “Let me up front, I’ll drive”, he demanded just before we headed back on the freeway.

Yea right pal, the last person I want in charge of our safety is you.

We made it to a hospital (notice I didn’t use the word “the”), drug out the gurney and all the gear all the way up to the ICU only to find that we drove to the wrong hospital. “I told you I should have drove”, mutters the RT. If I didn’t have the little ounce of self control that I did, he would have found himself with the word “Zoll” permanently imprinted on the side of his head.

We finally did get to the correct hospital and dropped off the patient without any further incident. So now came the much anticipated food stop on the way back to town. I hopped up front any told my partner to stop at the nearest Tommy’s burgers. I consider it a sin to pass on a Tommy’s chili-burger. We pulled up, I hopped out and opened the back door to let the nurse out. The RT stood up and managed to say “What? Tommy’s burgers??! I’m a vegitari….” before I could slam the back door shut. “He’ll be fine in there, let’s go”.

I learned a valuable and hard lesson on my very first call as a paramedic. Messing with the EMS gods never pays off.


If Charlie Sheen was a Paramedic

The well-known star seen in the hit tv-series “2 and a half men”, has been all over the headlines recently. Many people have criticized the actor’s lifestyle and are now wondering what will happen to his career if he keeps up this questionable behavior. Could this be the end of his role on the “big screen”? If so, what will he do next? If Charlie was to make a complete lifestyle change, why not change his career completely and take up a job in EMS? A change like this would of course lead us to the question of the week.

What kind of paramedic would Charlie Sheen be?

Shifts:

Your average 12 or 24 hour shift wouldn’t work so well for the long-time actor. Instead, you would see something like a 30 minute shift, one day a week, on Mondays at 9pm / 8pm central time.

Response:

Mr. Sheen wouldn’t respond to a typical 911 call. Instead, he chooses his patients and pays them to accept medical treatment and transport to the closest most appropriate hospital. It should be known that he typically selects attractive young women.

Partner:

While I’m sure that many people would like to work for Mr. Sheen’s ambulance service, I think the only logical choice for a partner would be his sober coach. Having a positive influence would be especially important when working in the emergency medical field.

Radio Reports:

Rather than utilize a 2-way radio system, Mr. Sheen would hand off patient information to the nursing staff via “flirty” text messages and tabloid articles.

Response Times:

If there is one thing Charlie Sheen is good for, it’s keeping track of time. He could utilize his extensive watch collection to keep track of all response times and to ensure a timely response to all calls for service.

Pain Management:

While Charlie’s ambulance service would carry narcotics to manage pain, it would be highly unlikely that any of them would ever reach the patient. This would force him to rely on other methods, like a placebo to manage his patient’s pain.

Conclusion:

While it may be scandalous, working for Mr. Sheen’s ambulance service (Two and a Half Medics, inc) could be a lot of fun. Short working hours, exceptional pay, and adult movie stars for partners. I really think that Mr. Sheen will have his work cut out for him once he leaves the big screen.

Have an idea for next week’s “Celebrity Medic”? E-Mail me at sean@medicmadness.com.



Happy Thanksgiving

I hope you are all enjoying the holiday season. Fortunately, I’m not working today (a first in 3 years) and enjoying some much needed time with the family. As I sit here at home drinking my hot coffee and waiting for my kids to wake up, I can’t help but count my blessings.

As a family man, I’m thankful for my 2 healthy children, who keep me on my toes and keep a smile on my face. Watching them grow up has been an experience that I couldn’t possibly have imagined. I’m thankful for my girlfriend, who has been there with me through some pretty stressful times. With every challenge that we have faced, our relationship has continued to grow stronger. She has brought so much joy to my life that I can’t even begin to try and explain in this post.

I’m thankful for my entire family who continues to stay in touch and maintain a close relationship regardless of the distance that separates us. I’m thankful for my parents who put up with me through my troubled days as a hell-raising adolescent and continue to be there fore me as a responsible adult. I’m especially thankful for recent events which re-united me with my older brother that I haven’t seen since I was a child.

As an American, I’m thankful for all the men and women who are away fighting for our safety and freedom. If not for them, we wouldn’t be able to enjoy holidays like today. Their continued sacrifice is something I think is commonly overlooked. They are what makes this country the greatest nation on earth.

As an EMS professional, I’m thankful for all the men and women working today, ready to respond to any call for help. Being away from your family on a holiday is something that nobody should ever have to do, yet there are people who continue to do this job. I’m thankful for the ever growing army of EMS bloggers that continue to make a difference. Those of you that see this job as more than just a paycheck, my hat goes off to you. I long for the day that every EMS provider shares the same passion and desire to improve the industry just as you do.

I wish you all a great holiday. With any luck, you are reading this from your home. But if not, thank you. May the holiday season bring you happiness and cheer.

Happy Thanksgiving!


An update from the Droid Medic

I recently released a new blog “DroidMedic.com“. In case you didn’t already know, the site is designed to be a one-stop Android resource for EMS professionals. Well so far it’s turning out to be just that. The site is picking up faster than I anticipated and there still tons of great content to come.

So far I have posted several medical app reviews, some Android news and a couple handy tutorials. I have received some great feedback and some good ideas that I am looking into.

The site is hosted over at the new “EMS Blogs” blogging network. With a lot of help and support from my good friend, Dave Konig, I have been able to get the blog up and running faster than I every expected. He is really doing some great work over at the blogging network. If you haven’t checked it out, you should do so now!

I have some exciting things planned in the near future for the blog. I’ll be starting a new YouTube channel for all of my tutorials and demonstrations. I’ll also be starting a video-cast that will feature tech news, site updates, tips, etc. While I wish I could promise a weekly release on that, I’m just not sure that I can pull it off while still working a full-time job. But who knows. I will also be improving the newsletter and gearing that towards a weekly release with some handy information.

The blog is still in it’s infancy so I’m open to any comments or suggestions. It’s a work in progress, but it looks like it has a bright future. Thank you all for your continued support.